marriage preparation tips

While wedding planning keeps ya busy, don’t forget what it’s all about - marrying your best friend!! I’ve compiled my top nine marriage preparation tips for you in this blog. As someone planning her wedding right now, I UNDERSTAND how crazy life gets. Throughout the whole engagement season, Trey and I have tried to stay intentional with our relationship so we can prepare for a successful marriage!

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Christina + Nick Durham | Kansas City Wedding Photographer

I’ve photographed Christina and Nick for three years now - you could say we’re practically best friends at this point. I shot with them twice when they were dating, then took their engagement photos, and then I had the absolute honor of being their wedding photographer!! Can I just say my job IS SO DANG COOL!!

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Sidenote: When they were dating, I took a photo of them with their love lock at Blue Springs Lake. On their wedding day, we went back for another picture!! This is straight out of a rom-com movie, I love it.

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While the details were important and Christina had fun planning their wedding, I could tell that she never lost sight of the reason behind the wedding - starting their marriage. I was so inspired by the way they prioritized their relationship throughout the wedding planning process! It’s obvious when you see these two that they’re head over heels in love. I mean - LOOK AT THEM.

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They’re truly a match made in Heaven. They’re super sweet and supportive to each other, but also so generous with their friends, family, and community. I noticed that they really took the time to build a foundation for their marriage!

Christina loves snow, so they had a beautiful winter wonderland wedding last January!

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Here Are 9 Ways to Prepare for Marriage During Your Engagement

01. Premarital counseling

Look into your local church or mental health clinic to find a marriage counselor! Premarital counseling is a great way to receive unbiased advice, navigate hard conversations, and build a toolkit for better communication skills.

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2. Read books about relationships and marriage

I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard good things about Everybody Fights by the Holderness Family! If you’re not a reader, listen to podcasts about marriage.

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3. Designate wedding planning dates

Don’t let wedding planning become your entire topic of conversation for the whole time you're engaged! Set aside time to tackle wedding planning together so decrease the overwhelm. Make it a fun date!

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4. Have the hard conversations

It might not be your idea of a fun date, but the hard conversations are often the most important when you’re trying to prepare for marriage emotionally. Make sure you two are on the same page with religion, sex, children, and your boundaries.


Some common questions:

  • Do you want kids?
  • If you have kids, will they go to private or public or homeschool?
  • What do you want our sex life to look like?
  • What are your 5 year goals in your career and for our family?
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5. Learn about your personality types

Take a Love Languages test to learn about the five love languages!! Or find out your Enneagram type or your Myers-Briggs type. Knowing your personality type helps you learn the communication style and habits that your spouse has.

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6. Money mindset

Talk to each other about your financial life.

  • Will you have joint or separate bank accounts?
  • Who has the primary income in your household?
  • What debt, from loans or credit card accounts, do you bring into the family?
  • What will your budget look like?
  • Who is in charge of paying the bills on time?
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7. Define your expectations

You two were raised in different households and you carry a lot of your expectations from that into your marriage, whether you realize that or not. Some people prefer to be left alone if they’re upset, while others expect their partner to comfort them.

Talk about what your family roles were like in terms of chores, emotional support, and communication skills. A lot of the examples you saw growing up are subconscious expectations of your partner! If you don’t break those down and communicate about them, you’re likely to run into disagreements and miscommunication about issues that could be avoided.

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8. Find role models

Whether it’s your grandparents, an aunt and uncle, or just a family friend - find role models that inspire you with their marriage. Is there someone you’ve always looked up to because of the way they treat their partner? Talk about that with your soon-to-be-spouse. Set up a double date with your role models and ask them for their best marriage preparation tips.

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9. Keep it romantic

Simply put: don’t lose sight of why you’re together in the first place. Plan fun dates, build hobbies together, and spoil each other. You’re in it for the long haul, so invest in your relationship. Turn your engagement season into a strong foundation for your marriage to grow on!

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How I’m Preparing For a Successful Marriage

Trey and I are definitely making sure we spend quality time together during our engagement season. We’re super busy with work, PLUS we just bought a house - but we’re still making our relationship a priority!!

It’s important to us to make wedding planning fun. We have little wedding planning date days where we knock out multiple things on our wedding planning to do list. On these dates, we also get dinner or lunch somewhere new!

This helps us feel like both of us are contributing to our wedding planning. And since we have designated wedding planning time, we feel less overwhelmed and more organized!

How are you preparing for marriage emotionally? Let me know in the comments below or DM me on Instagram!

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KC MO Wedding Vendors:

Venue: First Baptist Church Blue Springs

Florist: Fluer Floral Studio

Caterer: Hyvee

Brides Dress: Stephanie's Bridal

Brides Veil: David's Bridal

Rings: Kennedy Jewelers

Vow Books: Blush Paper Co

Invitations: Shutter Fly

Ring Bearer Pillows: @the_artsyhippie

Ring Bearer Sign & Acrylic Signs in Reception: @birchhilldesigns

Guest Book: @paperboundlove

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Nine Marriage Preparation Tips for Busy, Engaged Couples