Writing your vows can arguably be one of the hardest parts of preparing for your wedding day, especially if you aren’t great with words! It is always a good idea to discuss with your partner what your opinion is when it comes to vows. Do you want to write your own and say them in front of all your guests? Do you want to recite pre-written vows from the officiant? Or do you want a mixture of both? Where you write your own vows and share them in private while also reciting vows from the officiant at the ceremony. In my line of work, I’ve heard a lot of vows recited! I’ve put together a list of tips that will hopefully help you if you and your partner opt for writing your own.

Discuss Tone and Format

Before you get started it is important to discuss what you want the tone and format of your vows to be so they are similar. Are you going for more light-hearted, or serious? Do you want to tell a story, or make promises to each other? Maybe you both want the same format and maybe you both want to do something different! Either way, it is important to be on the same page before the day of the wedding so you have an idea of how to prepare and what to expect.

Sweet Memories.. Not Embarrassing One’s

You likely know your partner better than anyone else. Which means you’ve seen them at their worst and best. Even if you decide on doing light-hearted vows, it is important not to embarrass your partner in front of all your guests during a serious moment. Save the “spring break” and “drunken night out” memories for the reception speeches!

Practice

I know it can be nerve-racking just having to write the vows, but it is also important to practice them. I recommend practicing them by yourself a few times to make sure everything sounds good. Once you’ve done that, ask someone you trust to listen to you practice them out loud once or twice. Not only is it good practice for the wedding, but you can get some feedback about how they read and if you should make any changes or adjustments.

Remember, your wedding is just one day! So, although writing your vows may seem like a huge deal in this moment, what really matters is spending the rest of your lives together. Take a deep breath, grab some paper, and write from the heart. Trash one idea and start all over if you have to. At it’s core, you are promising to love your partner and that is all that truly matters!